Accidentally Amy by Lynn Painter

Maybe there is a reason "accident" is in the title

This is a perfect example for why books actually need, you know, editors.  

        Ah, the self-published book, how you suck me into your nonsense every single time. People rave on the internet (of course they do), and I convince myself that this book will be different. Yet, it never is. Self-published romance feels like a physical copy of someone's Wattpad fanfic, often with less plot and way more typos. Sure, people love it, but I think the reason they love it is that it is so 2012-era Wattpad smut. It's nostalgic, and there is no plot, all romance. Honestly, most of the time, it is toxic. You can't even try and tell me I'm wrong (I'm looking at you, Twisted Hate.)

    You may be wondering, Emma, if you know this, why did you pay money for this book?  Well, to be completely honest with you, I was looking for a fall romance, and the cover was cute. Now, I am about to hate on this book, and for that, I am sorry because I rather like Lynn Painter's other books, but this was just one hell of a flop. 

    I guess my main problem with this book is that there is really no plot. Izzy, our oh-so quirky and adorable and not like other girls, main character has a meet-cute, they pretend not to flirt, they hook up A LOT, and then they have a minor inconvenience that they totally overreact over. In the end, happily ever after. Oh, and did I mention she watches football? Like I said, NOT like other girls. I mean, I guess they are cute, and there was a lot of good material here, but it was just not there. I needed real conflict, background for these characters that was not having one friend, and that friend also being their cousin and way less weird nicknames. I mean way less. Honorable mentions are "Mr.Chest" and "Amy," which is not even a nickname. It's just a regular name that is not hers. 

    The thing is, watching people be obsessed with each other is not an entire plot, and this was instant love for sure, with nothing else going on. I mean, I could have let it slide, too, if it was good, but most of the plot had me cringing in my seat and trying to hold back my own vomit. I mean, some of the things that these people say to each other were terrible. Some honorable mentions here include, "My best friends makes me sit in the back seat like an itty bitty baby child" (Oh my god, how disgusting), as well as "So I have to go to Springfield by myself because you are a little pervert?" Oh, how romantic these two are. 

    Now, an ultimate pet peeve of mine is just like an unhinged Taylor Swift line in the middle of a book. Like you just KNOW the author stuck it there to have one. This particular book actually used a line from All Too Well, which honestly was not the vibe because it was used in a happy context. Now, this man, Blake, had no prior musical interest (or interest in anything but this girl), and yet all of a sudden, he is thinking of Taylor Swift's lines about her? Come on,  if you are going to have a Taylor Swift reference do it right. Ugh. In general, there were a lot of niche references. Izzy's cat is called The Darkling, and there were a ton of little book references here and there. It made it seem less like a book and more of a quick story to benefit the fans. As I mentioned, it for sure reads like a fanfic. 

    Now had this been more of a book and not a novella, had she ironed out some of the plot holes (seriously, Blake just ended an engagement, and we are supposed to just be like yeah, ok cool?), and had these characters been like forty percent less weird and with fewer niche references this good have been good, yet alas it was not. A whopping two starts beings I cringed internally through reading most of this book. If you like bad fanfiction but want it in physical book form, then this is the one for you.